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I demand while standing on the welcome mat in my Inspector Wink-Wink briefs. “Whatever it is you’re selling, we don’t want it,” I hear her say from behind the door, and then laugh with my little sister like twin hyenas. One of Jessie’s most favorite hobbies is locking me out of the house. If it were 190 53 degrees outside and I were dying of thirst, she would lock me out of the house and think it was the funniest thing ever to happen on Earth since a hairy caveman somewhere in France discovered the practical joke.

Then I freeze in terror. . They’re IN MY PANTS, too!!! I should point out here that I get totally freaked out by ants. I’ve been this way since I chose to sleep with my ant farm one night when I couldn’t find my favorite teddy bear, Hank the Humming Bear. During the middle of the night, I woke up covered with ants and ran screaming right into my closet, where I cracked my head open on the bar you’re supposed to hang your clothes on. Thirteen stitches later, my dad vacuumed up my ant farm, and we haven’t discussed the incident since.

So, with no money, no car, and no donuts, I’m forced to do the best I can as a detective on his second official case. . I slowly starve behind Mrs. Fefferland’s neatly trimmed hedges. Even worse, the only person I have to talk to is my little sister. “This is more boring than Grandma’s house,” Hailey groans. Ever notice how often detectives in movies bring a little sister along during a stakeout? The answer is NEVER! Now I know why. ” she asks. I just ignore her. ” she says. “Sherlock, look at my ears.

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My Easy-to-Read Stories by unknown


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